My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
