Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
