even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
