So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
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Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
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You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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