You're a womanizer and a bitch.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
