All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
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