He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize