Swine flu. Run for my life!
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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