I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I just threw up on my dentist
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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