That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
