My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
