You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
