So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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