i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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