Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
