started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Never joke about your clitoris.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
