The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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