In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.