So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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