you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
