We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
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he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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