Do vagina's smell?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
it glows. i had to have it.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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