cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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