Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
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