She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
