Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
