you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
