so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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