at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
