no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
