i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
