All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
