Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
