last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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