the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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