remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
