Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
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I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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