Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
