worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
