remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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