Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
