I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
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I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
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That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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