i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
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