Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
