I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Randomize
