I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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