so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
