I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
