weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
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