Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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