Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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