Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(705): View more from Ontario

She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.

(905): View more from Ontario

I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.

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(901): View more from Tennessee

If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.

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(773): View more from Illinois

Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again

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(281): View more from Texas

A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(734): View more from Michigan

In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.

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(808): View more from Hawaii

Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.

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(314): View more from Missouri

Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays

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(+61): View more from Australia

PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO

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(954): View more from Florida

I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.

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