i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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