I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.