i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
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I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
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Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.