She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
40s are totally the cure
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
