After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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