You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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