I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
