The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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