im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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