So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this will be a night to untag.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize