My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
